The gods make a fool of themselves
by Yolonda
Summary: The gods have a contest. The demigods participate by submitting dares for the gods. Some Pothena.
1. Chapter 1

The gods make a fool of themselves

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson. I only own the demigods I created in the story. :(

Chapter 1

Yolonda's POV (Yes, I'm using myself in the story)

My sister, Sara, and I were helping Annabeth with her designs for Olympus. She was trying to build a model of the Parthenon next to Athena's temple. Poseidon might not like, but did we care? **NO!** What did Poseidon ever do for our mother? Our mother, by the way, was Athena, goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. Go Athena!

"What if we make this part thicker, so that it can stand on the hill but not lean over, like how the leaning tower or Pisa did?"

"Well, that would work, but it would be heavier on top than at the base, so if that earth shaker Poseidon gets angry, it would be destroyed"

"Well, what if we move this piece a few feet to the left, it might historically inaccurate, but the weight would be balanced, and you can add metal reinforcements"

"That's perfect, thanks you guys!"

"Anytime, Annabeth"

Sara and I left, hearing Annabeth muttering something about needing to send the blueprints, designs and notes to Hephaestus immediately. At dinner, Chiron made an announcement.

"The gods are having a contest. They have decreed that demigods can participate by writing dares down and putting them in this box." He pointed to a box beside him with blank cards on top. "Hermes will come every night while the campfire is going on to pick up your requests. Hephaestus will then video tape the gods fulfilling the dares for our amusement every morning during breakfast!"

We all broke out into cheers. It's not every day you get to see your godly parents acting like fools! I could already think of a thousand requests.

I yelled out, "Is there a limit to the number of requests you put in the box?". A lot of other kids nodded, like they had been wondering the same thing. Chiron answered "There is no limit, but don't put in any requests that would force them to break any oaths they have."

A couple kids, yes, I'm looking at you, Travis and Conner Stoll, groaned. The rest just ran to the box like it said "Free Candy, please take" or something. I got out some paper and started making a list with Sara about what we wanted the gods to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, I only own the demigods I made, and the story I wrote. :(

Zeus's POV

"Ares has to wear a pink bunny suit for 3 hours" I said. I'd like to meet the demigod or demigods who came up with that!

"You're making that up!" Ares accused. I handed him the card. Ares cursed in ancient Greek. Hermes handed him a pink bunny suit. Athena spoke up "What a coincidence that Hermes just so _happened _to have a pink bunny suit on hand" Hermes looked embarrassed, but muttered something about a closet of cute furry animal suits. Hephaestus made sure no one noticed the hidden cameras in the throne room. Ares glared at Hermes as he pulled on the bunny suit. Poseidon was secretly taking photos and uploading them to Facebook. Athena read the next dare. "Zeus must be turned into a pig for the next hour". Artemis waved her hand before Zeus could protest. "Hey wha-oink!" Poseidon couldn't help himself. He started singing "Spider Pig" from the Simpsons movie. Everyone looked at him like he was insane. Artemis read "Aphrodite must wear camouflage for the rest of the day" "Please, no, I'm begging you!" Aphrodite cried. Too late, her clothes were magically changed from a purple-ish wine colored dress to a camouflage outfit and combat boots. Her hair was shaved off. "AAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed. "Relax, it will grow back in 24 hours." Someone said. Aphrodite screamed again. "Wow, this next dare is bad news for Poseidon and Athena" Apollo said. "Poseidon and Athena must make out for 5 seconds" That got Aphrodite to stop screaming immediately. "I would much rather kill myself" Poseidon said. Apollo responded with "The post-script says 'No killing yourselves to get out of it' ".

"I think we should let them do this dare in the hall" Hermes said. The rest of them nodded, except Ares. "What! If I have to wear a bunny suit-"He was cut off by Athena's I'll-kill-you-in-you're-sleep look. Poseidon and Athena walked out to the hall, grumbling under their breath.

-10 minutes later-

"Anyone know where Poseidon and Athena went?" Dionysus said. "Aren't they in the hall?" Hermes said. Dionysus went to make sure they hadn't killed each other. What he saw blew his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing :(

Dionysus's POV

I thought they hated each other! Isn't that why Poseidon said He'd much rather kill himself than kiss Athena? "Who cares?" his other half said. "Get this on video!" Dionysus took out his phone.

Hermes's POV

I saw Dionysus take out his phone. He obviously thought something out there was worth capturing on video. I walked up to the doors of the throne room. I saw Poseidon and Athena still kissing. They must have forgotten about the time. And they looked like they were enjoying it. Wow. I whispered to Dionysus "Get me the air cannon"

Poseidon's POV

I couldn't believe Athena actually went along with the dare. She always said she hated me! But now, she seemed to be enjoying the dare… BOOM! Some loud noise interrupted us. I looked up and saw Dionysus and Hermes with their cell phones out, probably recording us. I could feel myself blushing. A lot. The other Olympians, except for Zeus, who was still a pig, were laughing at us. Athena and I walked back inside. I heard Apollo saying "Hey Poseidon, who's your new girlfriend?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing :(

Sara's POV

My sister Yolonda and I were eating pancakes and syrup, lots and lots of syrup, when Chiron turned on the Hephaestus TV channel. We saw Ares in a pink bunny suit. We laughed over that, the Ares kids glared at the Iris Message TV screen. Then we saw Zeus being turned into a pig. Even Jason had to laugh. "Oink oink oink" some of the kids mimicked. Then Aphrodite had to wear camouflage for 24 hours! I wonder who came up with that. Probably one of my sisters. "How could anyone be so cruel!" some Aphrodite camper yelled. Then we heard, "This one is bad news for Poseidon and Athena". I couldn't hear what happened next, because everyone was laughing too hard. We saw them walking into the hall. Then, a few minutes later, Dionysus walked to the door. We saw him take out his phone. Then Hermes came to the door. He said "Get me the air cannon". BANG! Poseidon and Athena came back into the throne room, blushing scarlet. "Hey, Poseidon, who's your new girlfriend? Apollo said. Poseidon couldn't get any redder. Good thing for him, Zeus was still a pig and didn't know what was going on. I asked Yolonda, "What's next on our list?" She had a mischievous grin on her face and took out a list with like 20 things on it! I read them over. This was gold! I noticed only one of them was for Athena, and that was to smack Poseidon with her spear. Not much of a dare, if you ask me. Athena's wanted to hit Poseidon for some time now. Let's see... Ares must dress up like a girl… Dionysus and Hephaestus must get a makeover from Aphrodite, in permanent makeup… Poseidon has to go to the underworld for an hour... "Is Poseidon scared of the dark or something?" I asked. Yolonda replied "Even better, he's scared of the dead!" The demigods were going to get a laugh out of that one! Hera must apologize to Zeus for killing his demigod children in the past and dress up like a cow… Hades must dress up like a sunflower, and wear yellow face paint… Zeus must admit he has a pet bunny… "Zeus has a pet bunny! Where do you get this information! Athena probably doesn't even know this stuff!" Thunder rumbled in the distance. "I didn't mean it like that!" I yelled out the window. Yolonda grinned again and said "I have my ways", and left me wondering how in Hades she could have gotten this information about the gods.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer:

Yolonda: How's the computer hacking going?

Sara: I'm not finished yet.

Yolonda: Well, until Sara and I finish our grand scheme, we do not own Percy Jackson. :(

3rd Person omnipotence POV (An outsider knows what everyone is thinking)

(On Mt. Olympus)

Zeus was understandably angry at the demigods for suggesting that he be turned into a pig, but then again, they HAD followed the rules of the contest. Zeus thought to himself, "If I had the opportunity to turn Kronos into a pig, I would have taken full advantage of the situation." And he had to admit, it was very funny. He couldn't blame the demigods for wanting to laugh at something. But still, a PIG!

Luckily, no one had told him about Poseidon and Athena's dare. Hestia decided to read the cards today. "Athena must smack Poseidon with her spear." She read. Athena smiled and smacked Poseidon in the face. He had a black eye for the rest of the day. Hestia silently read the next card and laughed out loud. She read aloud "Ares must dress up like a girl for the rest of the contest". Ares screamed "No! Please! I look terrible in makeup!"

Poseidon said "Ares, how do you know if you look terrible in makeup? Have you worn it before?" Athena said "Wow, Poseidon, when did you get a brain?" Poseidon ignored her. Aphrodite gave Ares a hot pink prom dress, high heels, makeup, and a purse to match. She also gave Ares a wig. Ares glared at her and walked into the bathroom. Aphrodite just smiled. No body dared to question why she had a dress laying around. She always has something with her at meetings. When Ares walked out, he looked like… a very ugly pighead in a dress. Ares sat down, probably blushing, but they couldn't tell under all the makeup. Hestia read the next card. "Dionysus and Hephaestus must get a makeover from Aphrodite." Needless to say, they screamed as Aphrodite dragged them into the hall. She started plucking their eyebrows, shaving their beards, (Hephaestus wasn't happy about that), giving them haircuts, dying their hair, brushing their hair, styling their hair, and countless other tortures. When they came out again, Hephaestus looked like Dwayne Johnson, and Dionysus… well, he just looked like a better looking Dionysus, with purple hair. They actually looked happy about the result of the dare. Hestia read: "Poseidon must go to the underworld for an hour". Poseidon wasn't too happy about that, but in a flash of golden light, he was in the underworld. Unfortunately, he was in the fields of Asphodel. He began to get a little scared because being here was like being dead. Some guy tapped him on the shoulder. He screamed. The guy looked insulted. As far as he knew, the guy with the trident standing in front of him was dead, like he was. Poseidon just stood there for 15 minutes, frozen in fear. Who would be so cruel as to make him come here for an hour! Someone must know that he was scared of the dead. He would find a way to get revenge. Back on Olympus, everyone was wondering why Poseidon's dare was to go to the underworld. Everyone in the room knew that this dare was the easiest they had gotten all day. So why was he reluctant? They decided to ask him later. Poseidon looked at his watch. 30 more minutes. He groaned. Why me? He thought. Then he remembered something. Kronos was down here! Somewhere near here, anyway. Before he was scared, now he was terrified. He wanted to get as far away from Tartarus as possible. He knew Kronos was defeated; his own son had defeated him last year. But still, if your dad had eaten you when you were born, just because you _might_ do something, and your brother killed him but he came back to life and nearly killed your son and his girlfriend, wouldn't you be terrified to come to the place where he's basically sleeping? His watch gave off an alarm saying that his time was up. He flashed back to Olympus. Zeus looked at him strangely. He knew he looked he had just seen a ghost. Then again, he _had_ just seen a ghost. Hestia looked at Poseidon for a second, and then read the next dare. "Zeus must admit he has a pet bunny". Apollo laughed and said, "Seriously, Zeus, you have a bunny?" Zeus turned very red all of a sudden. "Um... I um... like bunnies." Ares coughed and said something that sounded a lot like "lame". Poseidon said "Says the guy in the hot pink prom dress". Ares looked away.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Disclaimer:

Sara: We do not own Percy Jackson. *makes sad face*

Yolonda: but mark my words, we will! Someday, even if it is the death of me!

Sara: Overly dramatic much?

Yolonda's POV

We were all watching the dares on Hephaestus TV. This was hilarious! I was so touched that none of the gods chickened out of the dares Sara and I had submitted. Okay, dramatic act over. I was really laughing too hard to feel anything! I mean seriously, Zeus finally admitted having the bunny! Which he named: . I know because Zeus picked me to take care of while he went to Egypt for a month to visit his best friend, Anubis. He says he didn't name the bunny, but he "accidentally" gave me the adoption papers, and back then, the bunny's name was Chester. It was getting around the part were Hera would turn into a cow. Annabeth looked really excited. We showed Annabeth our list before we submitted what was on it. She liked the idea of Hera being turned into a cow. We watched Poseidon go to the underworld; Hera should be going next, and… Hestia skipped right over Hera and Hades dares! What was going on? Maybe Hestia didn't see those cards? Or Hermes dropped them? Then I realized, I had forgotten to submit them! How could I be so stupid? Sara and Annabeth realized the same thing I did. As soon as the Iris message showing the dares ended, I walked up to the box, along with the normal herd of excited kids, and wrote down "Hera must be turned into a cow for a day" and "Hades must put on yellow face paint and wear a sunflower costume" and put them in the box. Now they had to do the dares! Sara walked up with her list. She started writing things down and dropping them in the box. I looked at one. "Dionysus must put on a yellow chicken suit and dance in front of all the demigods" Nice dare, I thought. I smiled. I taught Sara so well in the art of revenge. Sara gave me her list of dares. I noticed they were all for Dionysus. I knew why. Dionysus pushed Sara and me off a cliff yesterday when we were comparing battle strategies for the capture the flag game tomorrow. Thank MOST of the gods that Chiron was looking for us because we were late for the campfire sing along, and gave us ambrosia for any broken bones we may or may not have sustained.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson. Yet.

Zeus's POV

Hestia read "Dionysus must dance in a chicken suit in front of all the demigods". Dionysus looked like he wanted to kill a demigod. "It was probably those no good children of Athena I tried to push off a cliff yesterday". That was the wrong thing to say. The next thing I knew, Athena's spear was impaled in the wall behind Dionysus's throne. Poseidon calmed Athena down, even though he hated Dionysus too. He probably wanted to see Dionysus embarrass himself. After the chaos had died down, or at least, Athena wasn't trying to kill Dionysus, Hermes gave him a yellow chicken suit. Dionysus put it on reluctantly as Athena made a video camera appear. She started recording. Dionysus danced for about 5 seconds. Athena took the tape out of the camera and said "I'm giving this to the demi-gods". Dionysus looked at her in fear. Hestia read the next dare: "Dionysus must fight Athena". Wow, the fates must really be against him today. Hermes got Athena's spear out of the wall and gave it to Athena.

-2 second later—

Dionysus was unconscious on the floor. Athena had beaten him senseless. "Something tells me he won't try to hurt any demigods ever again. Especially since he won't be a god for… oh let's say… 2 years at least." I said to the other Olympians. They all nodded and muttered in agreement. "But, let's send him back to camp half-blood tomorrow so the demigods can… teach him a lesson." A golden light surrounded Dionysus, and he officially a mortal for 2 years. Then they transported him to camp half-blood.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Disclaimer:

Sara: There! Got it! Wait, no I don't. Anyone know Rick Riordan's password for his email?

Yolonda: No *makes sad face*

Sara: That means we still don't own PJO *makes sad face*

Sara's POV

As we were eating breakfast and submitting dares, there was a flash of golden light. Dionysus suddenly appeared, unconscious. That's what he gets for pushing Yolonda and I off a cliff. I think my dare to fight Athena went pretty good. It definitely worked. And, as we were watching the IM, Zeus said that Dionysus was a mortal for 2 years! That's when Chiron spoke up. "What Dionysus did to those two demi-gods was inexcusable! And now, Zeus has made him a mortal. I am not usually a violent creature, but what do you say we teach Dionysus a lesson?" I grinned at Yolonda. "You planned this whole thing, didn't you?" She asked me. I smiled in response. Then she said "You DID! I'm so proud!" She laughed. "I taught you well, young grasshopper" she said. The funny part is, Yolonda is about half a year younger than me. Travis asked Chiron "What did Dionysus do?" Chiron responded with "He pushed two Athena campers off a cliff for no reason at all". Yolonda shouted "And Sara and I have the perfect revenge!" Chiron asked what our revenge was. I said "Well, tonight's Capture the flag, right?"

(A/N There's some Star wars or Star Trek or something reference in here. And sorry this chapter is so short. Cliffhanger! No pun intended.)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Disclaimer:

Sara: We do not own PJO :(

Yolonda: But we do know Rick Riordan!

Sara: Not really.

Yolonda: No, we don't know him :(

Yolonda's POV

I listened as Sara told her plan for revenge. Then we dragged Dionysus to the cliff he pushed us off of. We put up a purple flag for capture the flag. Then everybody else went to the woods, and we put up an orange flag for our side. The game would be the former god Dionysus on one side, and the entire camp on the other. Chiron allowed maiming for this game, seeing as Dionysus couldn't hurt us while he was unconscious. He also said that prisoners can be bound and gagged. I smiled. This revenge was perfect. When the game started, we all charged to Dionysus.

Dionysus's POV

I felt something on my arm. It seemed like a very big spider web. I heard something beside me; I guessed it was an animal or something. Then I heard a lot more animals. _Is this a stampede?_ I thought to myself. I slowly opened my eyes, and I was looking at… the entire camp. I tried to get up, but I couldn't move. Then I saw why. Some rotten demigods had tied me up! I tried harder to break the rope, but it was really strong, so strong that I couldn't break it with my godly strength. I had a pocket knife, but someone had taken it. I screamed "You dare take a god hostage! I should turn you all into dolphins!" Then Chiron said "I gave them permission. And you can't turn them into dolphins anyway, you're a mortal now". "Lies!" I screamed. Thunder rumbled in the distance. I tried my hardest to turn them all into bottles of Merlot, but it didn't work. Sara and Yolonda grinned evilly at me. What did I do to them except try to kill them? Yolonda and Sara asked Chiron "Permission to enforce punishment?" Chiron responded "Permission granted". They looked at me, picked me up, and with the help of some Ares campers, threw me off the cliff. The last thing I remember before blacking out is Yolonda walking over to a purple flag.

Chiron's POV

I watched as Yolonda and Sara and a few Ares campers tied Dionysus up. He woke up trying to get his knife. But I had confiscated it. Then, he threatened the campers, until I said that I had given them permission to tie him up, and that he was a mortal. After a few threats, Yolonda asked me "Permission to enforce punishment?" I responded with "Permission granted" Yolonda, Sara, and a few other campers picked up Dionysus, and chucked him over the cliff. Yolonda and Sara grinned at each other.

Sara's POV

I can't believe we just threw Dionysus off a cliff! _Perfect revenge for pushing us off the cliff_, I thought. I grinned at Yolonda, who grinned back. Anyone looking at us then would have sworn we looked like perfect little angels.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Disclaimer:

Sara: Who knows the password for Riordan's computer?

Yolonda: Let me do some "research".

Sara: Well, until we finish, we do not own Percy Jackson.

Zeus's POV

Since Dionysus had gotten proper punishment by getting his butt kicked by demigods, the rest of the Olympians continued our contest. Hestia read the card. "Apollo must go a week without spouting poetry every 10 seconds". It's a good thing Hestia read that card first, Apollo was about to spout some awful poetry.

"Hestia reads cards

I have a dare from you

And I cannot-

What! I can't spout poetry? Who put that in the box!"

Artemis replied "I did. Your haikus were getting so ANNOYING!" Zeus said, "They got annoying when he first started them." Apollo pouted. Hestia read the next card. (This dare was submitted by Angela Banaag). "Artemis must kiss Percy". Artemis looked horrified, but she flashed to camp half-blood.

Artemis's POV

I can't believe I was doing this. I might be grateful of Percy for saving me from the Titans a few years back, but I don't love him. And besides, I'm a maiden goddess. But then again, I don't want to be the only god who chickened out of their dare.

I made myself look 16, and went to find Percy.

Percy's POV

I was playing basketball with Carter from the Apollo cabin. (A/N I made Carter up, you won't find him in the books.) He got a 3 shot in, not surprising, while I tried to get a slam dunk, missed, and landed on my butt on one of the benches. Carter smirked." Smooth move, Jackson, I thought- gah uh, Hi?" I looked up, confused. Then I saw a girl about my age. She walked up to me and said "Hello, Perseus Jackson, I came to thank you for saving my life two years ago", then she kissed me on the cheek. She flashed away in a golden light. Something tells me she was a goddess. Demigods typically don't disappear like that.

Artemis's POV

I can't believe I did that! It was a dare, and it didn't count, but still! At least I didn't have to kiss him on the lips. That would be bad…

Hades's POV

Hestia read the next dare as soon as Artemis sat down. "Hades must dress up like a sun flower and wear yellow face paint." I growled. I flashed myself to the nearest Party City, and brought a sunflower costume. Then I went to a makeup store, and brought yellow face paint. The cashier looked at me strangely when he heard my request for face paint. I made up a story about one of my kids having a birthday party. I walked outside and flashed myself back to Olympus. I put on the costume and face paint and walked into the throne room.

Poseidon's POV

Hades the sunflower walked into the throne room. I and many other Olympians cracked up. Zeus cracked a smile, probably the closest he's ever gotten to laughing. I took out my cell phone, took a picture, and uploaded it to Facebook. Then, I got another photo of Hades, not in a costume, and uploaded that for before-and-after pictures. Apollo was taking a video of Hades, and probably uploading it to YouTube.

Apollo's POV

As soon as I saw my uncle Hades in a sunflower suit, I knew I had to get this on video. It would be great blackmail later… or I could just upload it now. I decided to upload it now. Hermes was doing the same thing.

Hermes's POV

Hades… in a sunflower suit? I had to record this. I took out my phone, and hit "Record video".

Zeus's POV

Hades's walked in the throne room in a sunflower suit, and I saw several gods taking out their cell phones. Hestia read the next dare after all the videos had been recorded and the photos were taken. "Hera must turn into a cow". Artemis smiled, waved her hand, and two seconds later, Hera was a cow. "MOO! MOO!" was all we heard after that. I saw the gods take out their phones again.

Sara's POV

We were eating breakfast, and watching the gods make a fool of themselves. Even Nico had to laugh when Hades was a sunflower. Then Hera was a cow, Annabeth was laughing the hardest and shouting "Take that, Queen Hera!" Chiron smiled. We all knew that one of the dares would be Apollo having to go without poetry for a week. The Apollo cabin didn't look happy about that. Then Artemis's dare came up. Annabeth walked up to Percy, and slapped him. Hard. The entire Athena cabin roared in laughter. Chiron then made an announcement. "The gods are no longer continuing this contest; they found out that a demigod started it. How, I have no idea, but they started it." Yolonda grinned. I whispered to her "HOW? How did you do this?" She grinned like an angel and said "Zeus wanted revenge at a few gods". We both laughed. Chiron said "Do you to have a comment?" Yolonda nodded. She said "Sara and I started the contest between the gods". Chiron gaped at us. "HOW?" Yolonda again said "Zeus wanted revenge at a few gods." That's all the information she gave. She sat down and began to eat her blueberry muffin.

We grinned at each other. "Perfect little angels!" She whispered. I laughed silently, not wanting to bring attention to us.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry to say this... but for personal reasons, I'm leaving . Part of me doesn't want to leave and abandon my fans, friends, and stories, but I feel I have too.**

**Anyone wishing to know why may visit the forum "Death to Critics United" and visit "And the rules that don't need to be enforced". You'll see my post on page two, towards the end, and know part of why I'm leaving.**

**I'm leaving for other reasons, too. I'm going to be in an early college in a few days, and I'm only thirteen, and I'm ADHD. I just CAN'T juggle my stories and school work. It'd be a distraction I don't need. I'm also writing a book, and I'm still on the third chapter because I'm busy here.**

**Anyone wishing to adopt ANY of my stories may do so, as long as you give me credit for what I wrote. You can change anything you wish, but know that I might be logging on every once in a while to update a story, if the demand is high.**

**And Sara, you're the one who originally inspired me to write, and I can't thank you enough for that. **


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